


Bat Family Vacation Fun Times

by janada_bear



Series: Bat Family FlimFlam [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics)
Genre: AU, AU! No powers, Batman being a good dad, Family Fluff, Father Batman, First time writing ;u;, Fluff, Illustrations, Just lots of family stuff bc I am weak, Silly times with the Waynes, Well links to illustrations, daddy!Bats, normal life AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:52:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7926676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janada_bear/pseuds/janada_bear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce has a week-long vacation at last! He promises his boys that he'll take them to a place of their choosing. It's a great opportunity for family bonding, right? And, of course, nothing can go wrong with this family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1 - Breakfast among other things

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! ;v; I like Batman and his family very much. I am sad they don't get to be a very happy family, even though I like their adventures and the angst that they carry with them. Lucky for us fanfiction is a good place to allow them to be a happy family. 
> 
> Warning: It is a very silly story with family things/fluff. Bruce and the gang aren't superheroes here - just regular joes. Well, Bruce is still rich, but he's a rich guy who doesn't go out all night to fight the baddies. Here, I imagine he tries to be a good dad (but isn't very good at it since he's emotionally constipated haha) while the rest of the boys (+ Cass, who isn't here, but I do love her the same) are rowdy and give him headaches. 
> 
> Lemme know how you feel about it if you'd like. I'm not sure if I'll actually continue this to be honest, but if I get some ideas, I'll definitely stick it here. If you guys have any too, please feel free to suggest. It's always more fun with friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written a fanfiction before, but I was feeling a little glum, and everyone online seems to indicate that writing can be therapeutic. So I tried it out today while on a bus ride home. I must admit, it was very fun to write this, and I do feel better. I am definitely not a writer - I spend most of my time writing scientific papers rather than stories, so I apologise in advance if it's not really that good. I hope some of you can enjoy it somewhat though. 
> 
> Note: I realized that African Lion Safari might not be universally known? It's a park where the animals roam free in a designated area, and it's located in Canada, ON. You can imagine such a place being exciting for a kid like Damian. At least I do ;u;

“Father.” 

“Hn.” Bruce burrowed himself deeper into the silk sheets and plush pillows.

“Father.” No verbal response this time; only a gentle snore (fake - as if he could trick Damian).

“I was thinking of inviting Mother to stay here for the duration of your week-long - “

Bruce’s breath hitched before emitting a deep groan, interrupting his son’s threat. “… I’m up… I’m up.” Damian smirked. Though he may be the number one supporter of his parents reunion (much to Bruce’s chagrin), today’s activities held priority.

“Finally Father. Now hurry - Pennyworth has prepared breakfast and has informed me that should it become cold before you are at the table, he has something he would like to share with all of us regarding your childhood. ‘The incident’ I believe was what he referred to.”

That did the trick. Damian caught himself from falling off the bed as Bruce flung himself out of the sheets in a small panic (though he tried to hide it), hastily making his way towards the shower. Damian had no idea what Pennyworth could have been referring to. Something he would look into later (it had to be something _very_ interesting for that kind of a reaction), but again, today’s events were of priority.

 

* * *

 

Damian walked in triumph out of the master bedroom and made his way to the kitchen dining room. Dick was humming happily while keeping busy squeezing out fresh orange juice on the counter, a task assigned by a rather peeved Alfred after he had tried to ‘help’ with the waffles earlier (the sad smell of burnt would-bes could still be detected even by an untrained nose). Tim was slumped across the kitchen island from Dick in a position reminiscent of Muslim prayer towards the coffee maker effectively dead, at least before the coffee was finished brewing. Jason sat beside him piling cheerios - an impressive tower of cheerios in fact - on top of his head as he chewed on his plate of waffles and fruit. He looked like he had just come back from the dead as well, his chewing motions robotic and well-trained.

“Here Jaybird! You can have my first glass of juice! You’re in for a treat. I happen to have excellent grip, and I have no doubt that translates well into juice making. Bruce even complimented me back in the day -“ Jason snatched the glass from his hand, hoping he would stop talking. “Aw Jaybird, you could at least say thanks.” Nope. Didn’t work. He grumbled incoherently before taking a drink.

“ACKGH -“ Jason’s eyes widened before he began coughing. His abrupt motions sent the cereal tumbling downwards towards Tim’s unsuspecting scalp. After a few seconds, he caught his breath. “Jesus, can’t you fucking even do juice right?” “Language Master Jason” “Sorry Alf - I think I swallowed three seeds! And I didn’t even take that big of a drink.” Alfred handed Jason a towel to wipe residual droplets off his face before returning to his waffle making.

“Gosh, sorry Jaybird. I’m usually so good. Must have been a fluke.” The coffee machine’s humming stopped. “Oh! We can revive Timmy now! Help me out Jay.” Jason rolled his eyes as he grabbed the collar of Tim’s shirt (how did he get dressed while being asleep?) while Dick filled a cup from the cupboard with the freshly brewed coffee. He proceeded to attempt a revival by wafting the scent under Tim’s nose. “Come on Timmy…”

Damian snorted as he took a seat beside Dick. “Of course, Drake requires drugs to even attempt to live. Expected of someone of his skill and heritage.”

A combination of coffee and Damian's unfriendly remarks brought Tim back to the living. Tim’s opened his eyes blearily, but he still managed a heated glare towards Damian. Its effects were weakened somewhat by the presence of dark bags, but if looks could kill... “Shut it demon brat. I’ll have you know last night I was trying to fix my computer - containing my _final assignment for English due yesterday by the way_ \- _someone_ broke because they thought it’d be funny to download a bunch of virus riddled porn - “ Jason snorted and giggled, earning glare from the disgruntled teen. “- while I was out with Alfred to help buy groceries for _your_ dumb trip today. Argh, Jason, if you don’t stop laughing right now - !” The giggling intensified into a full-fledged laughter. Tim took a gulp of the coffee (black, naturally) before flinging himself onto Jason, cheerios raining down on the kitchen floor.

Alfred set the down four more plates of waffles and fruit for the rest of the Wayne family and started on the juice. The task had been abandoned by Dick, who shifted his attention to breaking up the scuffle between his siblings. Damian ate leisurely and watched in amusement as his older brothers rolled around the floor, leaving a wake of crushed cheerios. Alfred just ignored it.

“Aren’t we lively this morning,” Bruce said, staring blankly at the familiar scene before him. Jason had just managed to get Dick into a choke hold.

“Hey B!” “Bruce! Help!” “mghgml - Bruce - msdsdh - Good morning - mmghru” Tim disappeared under the Robin pile again.

“Ah, Master Bruce, the food is still warm. Lucky you.” Alfred placed the final glass of orange juice on the island counter. “I was worried I might have to resort to dirtier tactics to drag you down from your chambers. I trust you slept well.” He placed a copy of the Gotham Gazette and a cup of coffee at the seat at the end of the counter.

“Thank you, Alfred. And I did sleep quite well.” Bruce took a seat. After a sip, he glanced towards the scene. Dick had managed to wriggle his way out of the hold and was now attempting to pry Tim off of Jason. “I won’t ask.”

“Unsurprisingly, Drake was at fault once again Father. Unable to control his aggression, he attacked Todd, and -“

“Ha, the brat’s being a tattletale!” Jason exclaimed. “Jason ruined my computer! And you’re in no position to - oof! - talk! I know you helped him!” Tim shouted in the middle of a clash with Jason’s firm grip around his head (Jason caught him in _another_ lock and was about to noogie him, but he was almost out, _almost_ ). “Dad, I have footage. Back me up here!”

“Silence Drake!” Damian _may_ have helped Jason get into the voice-encoded computer with his ventriloquism, but Father didn’t need to know. He was almost on his way to a pet chinchilla.

Bruce rubbed his temples. “Damian.”

Damian grumbled, “Sorry Father.”

While a skirmish wasn’t unusual in the Wayne household, Bruce hoped that he could at least enjoy the first day of his vacation. He hadn’t had a break in ages, but of course on the first day of what should be a relaxing week ALL of his sons decide to pick a fight with each other. Honestly, if it was just Damian and Tim, it might have been okay. Nope - instead he had his oldest children rolling on the floor with his youngest adding fuel to the fire. God why couldn’t they all be like Cass (bless her - Bruce hoped she was having a good time with her friend Stephanie in Hong Kong). After a long drink from his cup, he walked over to his sons. “Ahem.” The boys stopped and looked up. Dick grinned sheepishly, “Hello again Bruce.” Bruce hooked his hands under the man-boy’s armpits. Dick fell limp and allowed himself to be lifted off of his brothers. Bruce set him aside on his feet and proceeded to pry his other sons apart by the collars. “Woah there B, you're ruining my leather,” Jason said, humoured, but still a little cross at the situation. “Hrumph.” Tim crossed his arms as he was set down. Dick climbed onto Bruce’s back smiling. “Carry me back to the table?” With no will to fight Bruce sauntered back to the island with his oldest in tow.

“Unfair Grayson! Father, I request you carry me as well.”

“Damian, it’s a piggyback, or our plans today. I don’t have the patience for both right now.”

“Hmph, fine. You certainly don’t hide favourites, Father.” Bruce didn’t protest.

“It’s because I’m the cutest.” Jason snorted at Dick’s self-praise. “You could be too Jaybird. You just gotta start sticking with one colour for your hair. I think B is starting to get confused with you changing it all the time.” “Shut it, Goldie. I’ll do what I want.”

Alfred started to brush cheerio bits off of the boys with a small broom and pan. “I think white is quite becoming of you Master Todd.” Jason beamed at the compliment. He was getting pretty good at dyeing his hair. A critical skill for maintaining his image. “Thanks, Alf.”

Damian pushed his empty plate away and glowered at Bruce’s still full plate. “Hurry Father; it’s already almost 7:00 AM, and I want to get there as early as possible.”

Bruce cut into his waffles with none of Damian’s urgency. Seven in the morning was too early for this. “We have a whole week. And before you complain, don’t worry - those lions aren’t going anywhere so don’t be hasty Damian.” He ruffled Damian’s hair, smirking at his son’s pout. “Go help Alfred put the food in the car. We’ll be out soon.”

Damian hopped off the stool. “I expect compensation if we are late.” He ran off in the direction of the foyer followed by Alfred. “No running in the hall Master Damian.”

“No offence B, but are you sure it’s a good idea for us to go there?”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full Jason.”

“Yea Bruce, I mean remember what happened when we went to the Zoo? I love the kid, but he can get a little crazy around animals.”

“A little crazy.” Snort. “As if you need animals to bring him to that level.”

Bruce wiped some syrup off of Tim’s face with a serviette. Tim wriggled his nose at the sensation. “Damian’s been very well-behaved as of late. Besides, we’ll all be there to keep an eye out.” Bruce was very apprehensive too. _Trust me; I know what Damian is capable of with animals_ … But he’s been so busy with work lately with all the new projects for Wayne Tech he had to keep his promise, lest he be a bad father. That, or experience the passive-aggressive wrath (more aggressive than passive) of his most volatile every day for a good month. “I also promised we’d go somewhere each of you would like to during our time off together and today is Damian’s turn.” A result of a straw selection process that also resulted in a scuffle mind you.

Dick swayed back and forth excitedly, thinking about his turn for the vacation. “I guess we can take whatever comes at us today. What’s the worse that can happen, right?”

Jason shook his head, “Goldie, you might regret saying that.”

Tim relented, but hesitantly. Bruce had promised, but a day at African Lion Safari with Damian… was it worth it?

 

* * *

 

The Wayne men (boys?) stepped out of the manor shortly afterwards, having put away their dishes, where Alfred and Damian were waiting for them in the driveway. The latter stood in front of the car door held open by Alfred with his legs apart and arms on his hips. “Father, that took much too long. Was Drake eating like a rabbit again?”

“Says the vegetarian.” Damian glowered at Tim.

Bruce chuckled at the banter, betraying his words. “Damian, don’t insult Tim. And Tim, you know better than to egg him on.”

Dick picked up Tim and slung his arm around Jason’s shoulder. “Ooof! Dick/Goldie!” the two exclaimed, annoyed. Dick ignored their protests and walked merrily towards the car, “Lets get movin’ and groovin’ little bros! We’ve got a long day ahead!”

Yep, a long day.

([Illustration](http://imgur.com/a/XELJy))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reaching the end of this!
> 
> I always had a lot of fun at African Lion Safari as a kid, but there are a lot of horror stories there... I think I might base the next chapter off of some of those (uh, well tentative next chapter). I hope they weren't terribly out of character. When I think of them in a non-vigilante universe, I do have a very specific image of them in my head.
> 
> Again, throw ideas in here if you'd like, or say hi, or just be silent and mysterious.
> 
> Thank you again, and enjoy your day ;v;!
> 
> P.S. The "movin' grovin'" thing was a kind of reference to the Lego Batman movie haha. Dick is so cute in the trailer. EDIT: I drew a picture to go with this (it's linked at the end as well - sorry in advance) http://imgur.com/a/XELJy


	2. Day 1 - Car rides and bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Car drives are always fun with siblings :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, I got an idea for their car ride there, so they aren't at the park yet. I think I may need to edit again later... but I am pleased with how it is at the moment. I wanted to stick this here before I return to the hellish school system :(

Dick clambered across Jason (“Hey! Watch the family jewels - OUCH! You Dickhead!”) to reach his seat between Jason and Damian. They had decided to take the silver Toyota SUV.It was a comfortable car, albeit a bit small in the back to fit a young adult, a teenager (who was really starting to pack muscle), and a growing angry preteen. Dick thought it was a fine idea, but Damian and Jason felt otherwise, especially when the seating designations were disclosed to them.

“Father, this is unacceptable. As the Wayne heir, I demand we take the BMW. I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate Grayson’s hugs.” Damian attempted to push away Dick’s hold on him. Dick persisted, nuzzling his nose into Damian’s hair. 

“Aw, Dami, you know we can’t drag too much attention to ourselves. Besides, this car lets us get nice and close back here. Think of it as practice for our longer road trip later this week!” He ruffled Jason’s hair with his free right hand. “Can you keep your hands to yourself, Dickhead? Not all of us require human contact for sustenance.” Jason huffed as he tried to fix his hair.

Damian managed to break out of Dick’s half-hug, leaving Dick to pout. Flopping into his seat, Damian crossed his arms. Bruce could see his glare from the back-view mirror as he adjusted it for his height. “Fine. Point duly noted,” Damian admitted. Being the Wayne family meant too much press sometimes. They usually managed to stay off the radar, but going out, especially as a family, always made maintaining privacy difficult. It wouldn’t be an issue if this was some event. This was meant to be a family vacation, however, so keeping a low profile would be ideal. Bruce had contemplated putting on a full-fledged disguise. He decided against the idea since it would be way too hot and sticky during the summer time. He opted instead to bring several pairs of sunglasses and pay the park to keep quiet for the day. He didn’t know how well that would work, so he took some extra precautions as well, which also helped ease his own infamous paranoia (i.e. he may have stuck a few Wayne security employees throughout the park before hand and sent the press on an elaborate goose chase concerning some of Wayne Industries “scandals” - the boys didn’t need to know that). “However, Father, I must ask: why am I in the back? Drake is hardly suitable to be your literal right-hand man. Surely I should be the one sitting beside you.”

Tim lifted his head, turning his attention away from his tablet (of course, a WayneTech prototype) to take a moment to stick his tongue out at his little brother. Remarkably mature for the teen, Bruce noted sarcastically.

“Forget Damian; I called shotgun B. You have to respect the rules of calling dibs.”

“I have to admit Bruce, that is a pretty convincing reason.”

“That’s a ridiculous reason, Todd.”

Bruce sighed. The headache was coming back. “Damian, you know it isn’t very nice to imply that your brother is worth less than you. He is just as important as all of you are.” Tim smirked but withered when Bruce gave him a sharp look. “And Jason, I won’t comment on the validity of your 'dibs' claim, but don’t think I don’t know what you did to Tim’s computer. You know how important that is to him.”

“Aw, B, it was a joke.” Tim scoffed, about to say something. Bruce intercepted before they started another argument.

“No excuses Jason. Fun and games are okay, but Tim had to hand in his homework late because of your little charade.”

“Fine, fine, I get it. Sorry about that Timbo.” Jason didn’t look sorry. “I’ll make sure to install porn on your computer when I know you don’t have an assignment due next time.”

Tim felt obliged to get angry but figured that was the best apology he’d be getting. Bruce had told him earlier that he would call the school to make sure he wouldn’t get a penalty for his homework, anyways, so the damage was minimized. “I accept your apology, I guess.” He turned to Bruce and smiled. “Thanks B.” Bruce gave his head a quick ruffle before turning on the engine, ignoring Damian’s jealous look and Jason’s annoyed huffs (“Such a goddamn suck up”).

Alfred, who was standing beside the driver-side of the car with a bemused look, cleared his throat. “Master Bruce, the food is in the trunk. Don’t forget to empty the cooler of the water and refilling the ice on your way there. It is in your best interest to do so unless you want soggy food. As well, please don’t forget to keep the plates on the top rack of the cooler. We don’t want a repeat of those soggy plates and napkins, sir.” Sheepish laughter from Bruce. “As well, do not forget to give Master Timothy his medication before you leave to explore the park as I expect you should arrive there around 9:30 AM.”

Bruce pulled out his phone, setting the last minute instructions into his reminders (sans Tim’s medicine - Bruce had that in the calendar he kept for all of his children). “Thanks, Alfred. I’ll make sure your food makes it there in one piece.” He set his phone onto the stand on the dashboard and turned on the GPS and AC before setting the stick to drive. “We’ll be back after dinnertime Alfred, so don’t wait on us. Thanks again, and call if anything comes up.” Alfred nodded, though he suspected Master Bruce would be the one needing his assistance rather than the other way around. “Of course sir. Enjoy yourselves young masters.”

Bruce rolled the tinted car window up and pulled out of the long circular driveway, beyond the gates of Wayne Manor.

* * *

Katy Perry played rather loudly throughout the car. Bruce, having built a tolerance for Dick’s taste in music, ignored it. The boys were also surprisingly non-intrusive, and he didn’t want to disrupt the equilibrium regardless of how much he hated the music. Slumped in his seat asleep, Tim had a pair of sound canceling headphones on plugged into his tablet which was playing the beginnings of the first Harry Potter movie. Damian doubled up his earplugs with similar headphones , which were connected to a digital reader (Game of Thrones - he felt an unusual amount of sympathy for some of the characters). Jason tried to play on his 3DS with a similar set-up.

 _“California girls are undeniable_ , _”_ Dick sang along happily. Jason groaned and attempted to cover Dick’s mouth. Only 10 minutes onto the road and Dick was already grating on his nerves.

“MmmhP?” Jason pulled off one of his ear buds. “Yea, no. I’m already tolerating the muffled sounds of your music - please no singing.”

Dick pulled Jason’s hand off. “I was bored because all of you guys decided to occupy yourselves in your own bubbles. Let a man live a little Jay.” Dick smiled, “Hey since I have your attention-”

“No.” Jason put his earbud back in. 

Sensing that he wouldn’t get further, Dick turned his attention to Bruce. “Hey B, wanna play a game?”

Bruce cursed to himself. Jason had ruined the peace. 15 minutes and 43 seconds. New record at least. “Dick, not right now.”

“But Bruce, I’m bored…”

“You can read a book.”

“You know I get headaches when I read in the car.”

“Sleep.”

“I have too much energy!”

Dick leaned over a little and perched his head on top of his hands resting on the shoulder of the driver’s seat. “Aw, please Dad?” He being to pout. Goddammit. He was pulling the ‘Dad’ card. He rarely referred to him as his father. Bruce knew he only did if he wanted something. He _knew_ yet it always worked. “Dad…” But _he was driving_ , god Dick.

“Damian.” Damian looked up ( _very_ selective hearing) and slipped off his headphones and pulled out his ear plugs. “Yes, Father?”

“Play with Dick please.” Damian looked mildly horrified. “It would mean a lot to me _son_.”

“Tt…” Bruce had gone and pulled his own trump card. “Fine.” He turned to Dick, “Grayson, what do you want.”

“Thank you Damian,” Bruce said with a small relieved smile. Damian felt kind of warm hearing that, but the feeling disappeared pretty quickly as Dick bounced slightly in his seat. “Yea thanks Dami!”

Dick took a few moments to explain “I spy with my little eye” to Damian. “This sounds like a stupid game with far too subjective judgments. How do we know someone is not cheating?”

“Will you cheat?”

“Of course not - I don’t have to stoop to that level to win a game.”

“Do you think I’ll cheat?”

“Tt, no.” Damian did trust Dick, even if he got annoying at times.

“Well, we’re fine then! I’ll go first!” Dick hummed in thought. “I spy with my little eye something blue.” Damian looked around. “The dumb bird on your shirt.”

Dick looked slightly offended (or tried to look offended), “I’ll have you know this is a limited edition shirt given to me by Clark after one of his trips to Asia. It is cool and don’t deny it. Plus it’s a _nightwing,_ not a dumb bird.” Damian was 99% certain that was probably not a real bird. “But yes, you are correct. It’s your turn Dami.” Too predictable, thought Damian. This wasn’t a very challenging game.

“I see -“

“ _I spy with my little eye_ Dami. You have to say the thing.”

“No, that sounds ridiculous.”

“Just do it, Damian.” Father and his stupid favourites. He didn’t admit it, but Damian knew.

“I _spy with my little eye,_ ” Damian grunted in embarrassment. This was dumb. “Something black and yellow.”

Dick looked around. The family didn’t have a thing for yellow stuff, mostly just black, blue and red. “Jason’s earring?”

“No.”

“My bracelet?”

“No.”

“Tim’s bobby pin.”

“Tt, no.”

After a few more tries, Dick honestly couldn’t find anything else viable. “Damian, I can’t think of anything else. Are you sure I didn’t already say the answer?”

“Yes, Grayson. You are just terrible at this game.”

“Are you _sure_.”

“I am certain you are terrible at this game, yes.”

Dick rolled his eyes. His little brother could be a little butt sometimes. “Alright little wing, I give up. What is it?”

Damian pointed at Dick’s right shoulder. “The wasp on your shoulder.”

Dick’s eyes widened in panic. “WHAT!?” He flung his arms around to sweep off the unwelcome guest.

“Dick, please stop. If you stay still, the wasp will leave you alone.” Dick’s wild gesticulations didn’t stop. “ACK! I can’t Bruce - it’s a wasp, you know I hate-“ Jason received a hearty elbow to the face. “Opps! Sorry Jay.”

Jason groaned in pain, holding his nose with one hand. “What the fuck!”

“Language Jason.”

“Dick, what the fuck are you doing.” Jason set his game down. “Holy shit, I think I’m bleeding.”

Damian was crouching slightly to avoid Grayson’s panic. “What a shame Todd.” Blood dripped steadily down Jason’s hand. Tim had awakened from the commotion and was now turned towards the back. “Serves you right Jason.”

Jason glared. “Wait until I get a hold of your laptop again.” Tim returned the glare. “If you don’t bleed to death first.” The amount of blood was getting a little ridiculous.

Wasn’t blood suppose to clot or something? “Oh my god, you Dickhead! I think my nose is broken.”

Bruce could feel his headache coming on again. Dick was still swinging his arms around. Now both Jason and Damian were crouching to avoid it. Jason’s blood was dripping down to the floor mat. Okay, damage control. _Breath in, breath out_.

Bruce rolled down the windows of the car, allowing the wasp to fly out at last. “Dick, the wasp is gone. You can stop now.”

“Phew, thanks B.” Dick looked down at Jason who was still bleeding and winced. Now he felt really bad about elbowing Jason. “Oh damn Jay, I'm really really sorry about that.”

“UM sorry isn’t going to help my nose.” Jason was starting to sound a little nasally. Tim tried to muffle his laughter. “Shut it birdbrain.”

“Dick, please grab the tissues from the back.”

“Oh! Right, of course.” Dick took off his seatbelt and leaned over the seat to the trunk. He fumbled around a bit. “I can’t find them B!”

“Damian, help Dick.”

Sighing, Damian took off his seat belt as well and crawled over the seat into the trunk to help his brother find the tissues.

“Found them!” Dick held up the box of tissues in triumph.

“Okay, you don’t need to show all of us, please just give them to me,” Jason growled, grabbing the tissues. Dick helped Jason make a few paper rolls to stuff up his nose while Jason tried to clean the drying blood off his hands.

 _Headache subsiding, okay… There should be a stop a little ways down. They can stop for ice and clean up Jason there -_ sirens began to wail.

“Shit, it’s the fuzz.” _Nope, headache is back again_.

Bruce pulled over to gravel on the side of the highway. A young female police officer walked up to the vehicle and knocked on the window. Rolling down the tinted window Bruce give the officer a practiced (but strained) smile. “What seems to the problem officer?”

She was probably new, as she blushed a little at Bruce’s smile. “Sir, you were going 100 miles per hour, way over the speed limit. I’m afraid I’ll have to ticket you.” Shit. Bruce hasn’t been paying attention to his speed because of the shenanigans in the car. She glanced into the car a little and looked shocked. Bruce followed her eyes. Damian was still not in his seat. Instead, he was stuck in the space between the roof of the car and the seat. Apparently, he had gotten stuck trying to get back after Dick had found the tissues having underestimated his size. “Uhh… I’ll have to write something for no seatbelt for your kids as well.”

“Tt. I’m not a child, woman.” She stared at the angry child glaring at her in slight disbelief. Her eyes turned to Jason, who was still a bloody mess and stuffing tissues up his nose.

Another strained smile. Bruce was kind of at a loss for words at the moment. Dick piped up to fill the silence. “Sorry officer, you know how boys will be. My little bro here was just about to get in his seat belt. You don’t have to worry.” He flashed a winning smile. “And sorry about the speed. See, my brother here has a problem with nosebleeds…”

Jason took the cue, “Ugh… Hermano, I’m feeling dizzy…” 

Dick patted Jason’s knee, a very convincing concerned look on his face. “Shh, little bird, we’ll get you some help soon.” He looked up at the officer again, eyebrows knit. Jason let out a dramatic groan. “And he’s anemic. We needed to rush to get him to the nearest stop to give him proper medical attention.”

She looked bewildered. “Oh dear… Should I call someone -", Dick shook his head, “No, we can deal with this. We know what to do, but we just need to hurry.” He winked, “You don’t mind letting us go for now right?”

Her face flushed. Definitely new. Bruce counted his blessings for a moment, _Thank you god for giving Dick a pretty face to look at and infallible charm._ “Of course, please hurry and help your brother. Just make sure your… young man is strapped in before you leave again.”

“Thank you officer.” One more smile to seal the deal. “You’re a great help.”

Dazed, she nodded, “No problem sir…” She stepped back and made her way back to her car, obviously a little confused at what had just happened.

Bruce rolled the window back up.  A minor crisis diverted. “Thank you Dick.”

“Yea thanks Dickhead. Now can you get your arms off of me.” Jason pushed Dick away, still holding on the tissues. A few blood-soaked ones rolled to the floor.

Proud, Dick tilted his chin up, “No problem B. My killer people skills always come in handy.”

Dick grabbed Damian under his arms and pulled, trying to get Damian out. “Alrighty Dami, lets get you out of here…”

A few grunts and pulls later Damian tumbled onto head first onto the floor mat, legs up. He quickly recovered, and glared at Tim who was trying not to choke on his laughter.

Before Damian could insult anyone, Bruce spoke up, “Damian put on your seatbelt. Tim, please don’t laugh at your brother.” Turning to Jason, “Jason, will you be alright?”

Jason nodded, “I think so. But it would be nice to get cleaned up a bit and maybe grab a snack. I wasn’t lying entirely when I said I was getting a little dizzy.”

“We’ll stop at a station another two miles down. Is that alright?” 

“Yea, that’s cool.” He grabbed a few more tissues to wipe the remaining blood off, the bleeding finally having stopped somewhat.

“Can we please keep to ourselves until then?” Bruce sounded a little desperate. Dick pouted, but agreed reluctantly, “As long as Jason lets me play with the 3DS.” Jason's hands were still covered in blood, so he relented, opting to watch a show on his phone instead. Damian and Tim returned to their own respective activities.

_How long will this peace last this time…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! ;v;
> 
> I just realized that Jason keeps on getting hurt by Dick lol opps. Also! Hermano = brother in spanish (my friend taught me that in school... I think they were telling the truth); I included it bc I like to think Jason is latino or something. I don't know. I just hate the idea that they are all white kids with black hair and blue eyes. Not enough variety (but I do still love them even if they are just that, of course).
> 
> I'll make the next one longer so they'll at least arrive at the park next time. Haha, you can tell I plan nothing. Sorry in advance. I'll try and plan things for the future ones so it isn't as much of a mess. Hmm I might draw something again, but that will probably not be until a while (school ew)
> 
> Again, say hi, put in suggestions (ideas or helpful tips for writing), or be mysterious and silent. ;v;
> 
> Have a great day!


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